P words – and none of us is perfect
Here are some other great points from our recent nanny training session re managing behaviour of the 8 years+ age group:
- set clear guidelines
- reward appropriate behaviour
- ignore inappropriate behaviour – although some cannot be ignored. So swearing for stubbing a toe might be ignored, however swearing at someone cannot be ignored
- model appropriate behaviour – the ad on TV at present where a young boy is driving in the back seat behind his dad, while mimicking his actions, is an eye opener. None of us is perfect but we must keep trying. Children absorb everything.
- use effective communication
- use logical consequences.
And remember the 6:1 ratio. Children hear six negative comments to one positive comment.
Children need to know who is in charge, what the rules are and whether those rules will be enforced. In my modest opinion I don’t think it’s worth having rules unless they are enforced.
You can let children work on the rules. They can contribute to what is safe and sensible behaviour for everyone involved and learn a little about negotiation in the process.
The “I” messages are great for nannies and parents alike. Eg “When you do…… I feel….., because…..” It helps the child to see the consequences of their actions.
The P words can also provide positive guidance. It takes practice, patience and persistence.
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